Leaving children with a babysitter can be very hard, especially for stay-at-home mums who spend long hours with their kids. The separation, albeit only for a few hours, can be traumatic for the kids, and probably Mum too.
Still, “mummy time” is essential for full-time mums occasionally. These mums should lay some groundwork and learn to prepare kids in the care of child minders so that they can enjoy some well earned time-out.
Give Children Notice About Parents Going out
Parents going out should let the kids know about their outing in advance. Never keep it a secret from the child. Parents can show the child a calendar or make a countdown chart. However, a child’s age, personality and experience with being left with babysitters will affect how far in advance he should be told of the date. Some children need more time to prepare while others become overly anxious if they are told too early. So it’s up to the parents to decide the best time to tell the child.
Ensure Kids Know the Carer
It’s important to ensure the child knows who will be taking care of her. If it’s someone the child knows, remind him of the wonderful times he’s had with the babysitter before. If it is someone new, make sure the child has some time to get to know her first. Spend about half an hour with the sitter and the child before leaving. It’s okay to get them involved in a game first. Take the opportunity to observe how they interact with each other too.
Outline Activities for Kids at Home
Plan some activities for the babysitter and the kids at home. Tell them exactly what the sitter will be doing with them. Write all instructions clearly down for her so that she won’t miss anything important that Mum has talked about with the kids.
Have a Goodbye Ritual With Children
Avoid sneaking out of the house quietly. Instead, parents should have a proper goodbye ritual with the kids. Sharing a short story, playing a game, giving hugs and blowing kisses are easy goodbye rituals. Be firm about leaving after the ritual. Don’t linger on and give in to the kids’ demand for another game. This shows the kids that the parents are not comfortable about leaving them with the babysitter.
Parents Keep Promises About Coming Home
If parents promise the children about coming home by a certain time, they should make sure they do come home by that time. As the parents are leaving, they should remind the kids that they will always come home. For young kids with no concept of time, it’s pointless telling them how long Mum and Dad will be out. Instead, compare time with their favorite activities. Here’s an example to use: “Mum and Dad will be gone for one hour. That’s two episodes of Sesame Street.”
Young children need reassurance whenever they are left with a babysitter. To prepare kids in the care of a child minder, give the children notice about parents going out, ensure the kids know the carer, outline activities for the kids at home, have a goodbye ritual with them and keep promises about coming home. Leaving children with a babysitter is a lot easier when there is enough preparation for everyone.
Found this article useful? Read also Finding a Babysitter, Choosing the Right Babysitter and Preparing for a Babysitter.
References:
Dr. Stoppard, Miriam. Family Health Guide. London: Dorling Kindersley, 2005.
Borgenicht, David and Grace, James. How to Con Your Kid. Philadelphia: Quirk Books, 2005.
Wei Yin Wong - I started my working life as a reporter at an English daily called The Sun in Malaysia 16 years ago, writing health-related articles. ...
